Legal Immigration: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

  • Publicēšanas datums 16 sep 2019
  • John Oliver explains how our legal immigration system works, and how it often doesn’t.
    Connect with Last Week Tonight online...
    Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight LVclip channel for more almost news as it almost happens:
    Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would: lastweektonight
    Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news: lastweektonight
    Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once:
  • IzklaideIzklaide

komentāri • 16 372

  • Arturo Gasca
    Arturo Gasca Pirms 13 Stundām

    "Where are they now?" WTF TRUMP

  • jmisc
    jmisc Pirms dienas

    Please make the non R rated one so teachers and professors can show this in the class. Please.

  • DarkRoe The Nin-Bot
    DarkRoe The Nin-Bot Pirms dienas

    "Our country is full!"


    We're limiting childbirth then, right? No? Cuz we're full, and we don't have the resources for higher population. Or at least we're making it really easy to get tubes tied or cords cut to limit population growth to a maintainable level? No? Then we're at LEAST making sure that those who are citizens are getting the proper care they need, right? No? Then we're at LEAST making sure that our veterans, who sacrificed a lot for our "freedom," have easy and appropriate access to the help resources they were promised? No?

    Then I guess it's a bunch of grumpy old Americans who seem more concerned with the idea of control than any of the three ideologies outlined in the United States' Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. Hard to live when you can't get affordable healthcare. Hard to have Liberty when basic amendments like the ERA don't exist in the Constitution. Hard to pursue happiness when a bunch of old citizens, stuck in their own fantasy world, fail to see the damage they are causing to the youth they so desperately act like they are protecting, but in reality are just trying to mold into their warped sense of what the youth *should* be.

    Hint: the youth will be whatever they want to be, and the more you stifle change, the more it hurts when change finally breaks through.

  • Jay Dike
    Jay Dike Pirms dienas

    This was anxiety-inducing to watch. I submitted my green card application a few days ago through marriage and I can't help but feel so scared to be denied as I begin to build my life and home here.

  • Seth
    Seth Pirms dienas

    15:00 She literally tells him her family was killed and he’s like where are they now? 😣

  • Ratigan2
    Ratigan2 Pirms dienas +14

    *"Legal. Good. Illegal. Bad."*


    “I do not like that man Ted Cruz,
    I do not like him in the news,
    I do not like what he just said,
    I do not like his boxy head,
    I do not like him wearing glasses,
    I do not like him kissing arses,
    I wish he'd never get one vote,
    That man Ted Cruz can lick my scrotes”

    John, you're my hero...

  • Kublai Khan
    Kublai Khan Pirms dienas

    Imagine you came to this country when you were in elementary school - five years later, after your parents became citizen (if), then they sponsored someone for visa. Now that child has grown up, spent half of their lives already, and that sponsored person hasn't received their visa yet - some 30 plus years later. Now, when that sponsored person do get it, they are in their late 60's, what do you think will happen? Not only they will be unable to contribute, but they are spending whatever little money left to get here is all for nothing. That is your legal immigration process currently.

  • DaveyTheDJ
    DaveyTheDJ Pirms 2 dienām

    Well if "We The People's country is full well why don't We The People deport the Trump family!

  • Mitch Brock
    Mitch Brock Pirms 2 dienām


    • Cioda
      Cioda Pirms dienas

      1. Because its still better than things that THEY ARE FLEEING! This isnt rocket science.
      2. Shut up about his accent. Its fine.

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām
    time for a revolt and go boudicca on their asses
    time to wake up the tribes ; time to wake up the knights . time to wake up ; JUST TIME TO TAKE BACK OUR LANDS and TIME TO GO TO WAR
    Min Warb Naseu
    Wilr Made Thaim
    I Bormotha Hauni
    Hu War
    Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
    Got Nafiskr Orf
    Auim Suimade
    Foki Afa Galande
    What am I supposed to do
    If I want to talk about peace and understanding
    But you only understand the language of the sword
    What if I want to make you understand that the path you chose leads to downfall
    But you only understand the language of the sword
    What if I want to tell you to leave me and my beloved ones in peace
    But you only understand the language of the sword
    I let the blade do the talking...
    So my tongue shall become iron
    And my words the mighty roar of war
    Revealing my divine anger´s arrow shall strike
    All action for the good of all
    I see my reflection in your eyes
    But my new age has just begun
    The sword is soft
    In the fire of the furnace
    It hungers to be hit
    And wants to have a hundred sisters
    In the coldest state of their existence
    They may dance the maddest
    In the morass of the red rain
    Beloved brother enemy
    I sing my sword song for you
    The lullaby of obliteration
    So I can wake up with a smile
    And bliss in my heart
    And bliss in my heart
    And bliss in my heart
    Coexistence, Conflict, combat
    Devastation, regeneration, transformation
    That is the best I can do for you
    I see a grey gloom on the horizon
    That promises a powerful sun to rise
    To melt away all moons
    It will make the old fires of purification
    Look like dying embers
    Look like dying embers
    Look like dying embers
    Min Warb Naseu
    Wilr Made Thaim
    I Bormotha Hauni
    Hu War
    Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot
    Got Nafiskr Orf
    Auim Suimade
    Foki Afa Galande
    Hu War
    Hu War Opkam Har a Hit Lot

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

    paying for immigration in your country and for europe and they give it to immigrants and they spend it tadaaaaa the mythe of "economic growth " and " buying power "; the only question for who ? and it isnt us

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

    forced neighborhoods
    un migration replace

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

    laten we voorkomen dat de geschiedenis zich herhaalt
    lets prevent history from repeating itself

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

    They’re not happy in Gaza.
    They’re not happy in Egypt.
    They’re not happy in Libya.
    They’re not happy in Morocco.
    They’re not happy in Iran.
    They’re not happy in Iraq.
    They’re not happy in Yemen.
    They’re not happy in Afghanistan.
    They’re not happy in Pakistan.
    They’re not happy in Syria.
    They’re not happy in Lebanon.
    They’re happy in Australia.
    They’re happy in Canada.
    They’re happy in England.
    They’re happy in France.
    They’re happy in Italy.
    They’re happy in Germany.
    They’re happy in Sweden.
    They’re happy in the USA.
    They’re happy in Norway.
    They’re happy in Holland.
    They’re happy in Denmark.
    Basically, they’re happy in every country that is not Muslim…and unhappy in every country that is!
    Not Islam.
    Not their leadership.
    Not themselves.
    THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN! And then-wait for it!-they want to change those countries to be like….THE COUNTRIES THEY CAME FROM WHERE THEY WERE UNHAPPY!?

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām


  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

  • Tim Dewulf
    Tim Dewulf Pirms 2 dienām

    and around 3 mins 52 you see what they have planned with force if need be

  • Erik D.Cueva
    Erik D.Cueva Pirms 3 dienām

    My own dad told me he will hire two Mexicans instead of paying me a living wage.

  • Andrea Robyn
    Andrea Robyn Pirms 3 dienām

    People say they love legal immigration but endlessly criticize the types and routinely make it harder and harder for people to immigrate legally.

  • Isha Biswas
    Isha Biswas Pirms 4 dienām

    Oliver has an artist's fingers.

  • ThumperDelta Resistance
    ThumperDelta Resistance Pirms 4 dienām

    Even to me it sounded like the woman speaking to the president said "they KEPT them" the first time she said it.

  • Daniel Embree
    Daniel Embree Pirms 4 dienām

    Aren’t we getting full?

  • Zara Rikan
    Zara Rikan Pirms 4 dienām

    BTS just got a free advertisement.

  • Unnamed Player
    Unnamed Player Pirms 4 dienām

    America: "Don't push kids to show any effort because it's stressing them! That's child abuse, sentenced to life in prison!"
    Also America: "The IQ of our country is plummeting!"

    ...and it cycles like so while occasionally a few lucky ones can immigrate because they had enough resources to survive the bureaucracy.

  • John O.
    John O. Pirms 5 dienām

    the only way someone could think Trump has good ideas about immigration is if they are-
    A) just as shitty as Trump
    B) Trump

  • Superman's billiger Klon
    Superman's billiger Klon Pirms 5 dienām

    Our Country is full is what German right wing/nazi parties say about immigration.
    I'll let you figure out the rest.
    Oh same with fake news media, right winged parties call it "Lügenpresse" (Lying Press)

    And many more similiarities.
    I truly think choosing between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump was a terrible decision... I just hope that he doesn't get reelected.
    Please America, don't vote for Trump a second time!

  • vilod
    vilod Pirms 5 dienām

    The audio is bad.

  • Insomnia NineThree
    Insomnia NineThree Pirms 5 dienām

    Melania has an autistic anchor baby

  • Insomnia NineThree
    Insomnia NineThree Pirms 5 dienām +1

    Why do all Indians speak English like that? 😂😂😂 so annoying

    • Avanti S
      Avanti S Pirms 3 dienām

      Insomnia NineThree different languages use different parts of their throat and tongue to make sounds. If you’ve grown up with pronouncing sounds in one way, it can be really hard to change it hence ‘accents’ (and of course pronunciation is different too). There’s some really good videos on it that explain phonetic sounds and linguistic pronounciation!

  • user unknown
    user unknown Pirms 5 dienām

    as an immigrant to Canada (federal Skilled Worker program), I'd like to point that middle class immigrants (especially those with families) who can choose normally won't choose USA. In comparison to Canada or Australia, USA simply doesn't have any permanent legal immigration options. For instance, Canadian federal immigration program requires you to score points to get over the threshold and pass language exams and if you do, you get permanent residence ("green card" like in USA) on your landing (within 3 months to be precise). Therefore, if you can pass those checks and exams, you sure are going to pick Canada over US, as you get security and guarantees of your status immediately on landing. Those who cannot pass these barriers would tend to pick USA.
    In the nutshell the difference is: Canada and Australia pick up skilled immigrants with families who know language, got education and professional skills. USA gets semi-random single guys. What USA can do is to introduce clear, strict federal immigration with points and exams available for anybody to apply, without any country quotas. Though it's a long term program, not a quick cash grab over low-qualification illegal aliens without any rights or protection - which seems to be the current USA immigration strategy (regardless what they say on TV).

    • user unknown
      user unknown Pirms 5 dienām

      oh, Canada federal immigration does have an income criteria (you should be able to show funds to support your family through first 6 months) and you will be less likely be admitted if you are burden to medical system, that is why medical tests are part of criteria to grant immigration visa.

  • 征夷大将軍坂上田村麻呂

    Hello 👋 l’m Japanese.
    I have a question. What’s ‘’green card” ?
    Could someone explain to me?

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 Pirms 5 dienām

      The wikipedia article does a pretty good job explaining it:

  • Stu Royce
    Stu Royce Pirms 5 dienām

    1. Europeans discover an already settled "America" and think it's pretty neat.
    2. They subsequently emigrate, displace the indigenous population, and bring all their family (along with a lot of folks who didn't get a choice in the matter...) with them.
    3. Around half a millennium later, unironically claim that illegal immigrants are bad and declare it full.
    Yeah I know, unironically isn't a proper word.

  • Akash B
    Akash B Pirms 6 dienām

    As indian I cant come to do my PhD

  • ScorpionZam
    ScorpionZam Pirms 6 dienām

    Are we overpopulated or not? Make up your damn minds

  • SneakySprinklez
    SneakySprinklez Pirms 6 dienām +8

    It’s so funny that he hates “chain migration” even though it was proposed by people who were basically racist and thought that they could keep out anyone who wasn’t white this way lmao

  • brandon lowery
    brandon lowery Pirms 6 dienām

    Okay let's look at it from a different angle we have veterans mentally ill people on the list could go on people that are already living here that don't have the support they need we do not need to worry about other people when we have people suffering here

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 Pirms 5 dienām +1

      Taking care of one group does not necessitate screwing the other.

  • mister mister
    mister mister Pirms 6 dienām

    Comparing to population of India (1.339Billion) and China (1.386Billion) to Mexico (129million) is ridiculous, with the immigration cap of 7% roughly 95 million each from India and China with only 9 million from, why is Mandarin or hindi not as common second language for the united states? I guess they can't just walk here.

    BUTTERCUP Jones Pirms 6 dienām +4

    When you're an ARMY and you see him mention BTS.
    Freak out yeah BTS!

    • Joyce Wang
      Joyce Wang Pirms 4 dienām

      omgSAME hahaha let me just get off topic for two seconds....lmao

  • Pino Dekoda
    Pino Dekoda Pirms 6 dienām

    I'd never immigrate in that shithole USA which exploited our Nikola Tesla. The only Ines Holding up the US are Black People, Asians and Latinos. As long they are Not the majority the US is a shithole. Just look what the fuck you have in the White House.

  • Squidicus Pastry’s
    Squidicus Pastry’s Pirms 6 dienām

    God I would love to show this to my very trump loving Alabama history class but my teacher wouldn’t allow it for the fact of cussing which sucks

  • osmark86
    osmark86 Pirms 6 dienām

    I remember thinking the US was the best place to live as a child/teen. As an adult I'm so damn happy I was born a Swede. Your country is full of a lot of wonderful people but it's a dog eat dog violent culture I wouldn't want to be part of. I hope you find your way again.

  • James Harris
    James Harris Pirms 6 dienām

    There is a question about the legal status of Trump's own wife, so much for legal immigration.

  • TheKrensada
    TheKrensada Pirms 6 dienām

    Look. Life isn't fair. Get over it. Rich people have the power, poor people have to be wage slaves. It's how the world works.

    • Cioda
      Cioda Pirms dienas

      So everyone should accept that and not try to fix that broken system?

  • TheGreatHeeroYuy
    TheGreatHeeroYuy Pirms 6 dienām +1

    Took 7 years for my family to be accepted for a green card, this was back in 2001. I can't imagine how long it takes now.

    • Cioda
      Cioda Pirms dienas

      @Daniel Embree Um. Why?

    • Daniel Embree
      Daniel Embree Pirms 4 dienām

      Hopefully you’re from Europe !

  • Iago Barreto
    Iago Barreto Pirms 6 dienām

    MEGA seems like a poor version of a nuremburg rally

  • Faisal
    Faisal Pirms 6 dienām

    I don't usually like John Oliver. But this segment was good.

  • dylan bellerose
    dylan bellerose Pirms 6 dienām

    U.S. immigration equals Mexican Joker, African Joker, and middle-eastern joker.

  • Myststorm
    Myststorm Pirms 6 dienām

    the us has an odd stance on immigration for a country populated by them

  • Mathias! HoloFoilVeryRare
    Mathias! HoloFoilVeryRare Pirms 6 dienām

    Holy shit.... orange man trying to put a lid on melting pot......

  • Dave Sundra
    Dave Sundra Pirms 7 dienām +1

    Brilliant segment ..

  • Cc Roberts
    Cc Roberts Pirms 7 dienām

    Why is this guy in the white allowed to giving such horrible misinformation! Smh

  • Not_My_Name
    Not_My_Name Pirms 7 dienām

    Breaking the law is bad, therefore illegal immigration is bad.

    • Cioda
      Cioda Pirms 14 Stundām

      @Not_My_Name then half of the civil servants we have should be removed. Trumps violation of the emoluments clause should have him removed.
      Politicians on both sides do not uphold the constitution. But they are still in power. Because they all cover each other in regards to their party.
      While you are right that it should happen, that doesn't mean it does.

    • Not_My_Name
      Not_My_Name Pirms 14 Stundām

      @Cioda every civil servant takes an oath to uphold the constitution of these United States. If they violate that oath they should be removed from their position.

    • Cioda
      Cioda Pirms dienas

      @Not_My_Name So then trump should be removed for violating the emoluments clause. Which is in the constitution.

    • Not_My_Name
      Not_My_Name Pirms 5 dienām

      @Stephen2462 OK, great, then change the law? Meantime the law in place has to be enforced. Laws are black and white, despite how you may feel about it.

    • Stephen2462
      Stephen2462 Pirms 5 dienām

      @Not_My_Name Nobody's arguing against enforcing the law (or rather the policy?) The argument is that the law/policy in question is impractical and should be changed.

  • nedstudt
    nedstudt Pirms 7 dienām

    My ancestors fought in the US revolution and I'm still waiting 8 months to bring my Filipina wife of 10 years back to the US.

  • Emmanuel
    Emmanuel Pirms 7 dienām

    Europeans bashing the US over here using LVclip, and watching an American TV show. How funny.

  • Evenios
    Evenios Pirms 7 dienām

    yeah thats the problem its fucking near impossible to become a us citizen......but considering our fucked up politics of late.. my suggestion? dont

  • J0KeZ
    J0KeZ Pirms 7 dienām

    I want the same joint John had before shouting “Chain Migration”. God that was ABSOLUTE GOLD.

  • MeatyTickle
    MeatyTickle Pirms 7 dienām

    It's a different world. The U.S. isn't a free-for-all anymore. I'm American and I'd love to get the hell out of here but its incredibly difficult to enter another first world country without being a refugee or incredibly rich and/or knows somebody. It is so insulting to see how entitled some people are about lax rules on immigration. Trump is a douche and is way over the top with his opinions but I'm not far left or far right, I'm just a struggling white American male who has had opportunities given to others who aren't even citizens. Many got scholarships for full rides and im still paying off my 100k$ loan. They got to go to pre and post graduate school for free. How is that fair? I had a 3.9 gpa and didn't get any meaningful assitance like they did. My parents are not wealthy and they didn't help with a single red cent. And every time i turn on the tv or read the paper I have to see these entitled people crying about how many injustices they have to endure. Life is unfair for everybody. Take accountability for yourself.

  • MRiGOThim
    MRiGOThim Pirms 7 dienām

    The Bottomless Pinocchio😂🤣

  • MRiGOThim
    MRiGOThim Pirms 7 dienām

    Woman thinkin the fuq😂🤣